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So I’m cruisin’, right? Radio’s blarin’, gut’s rumblin’ from last night’s chili – lordy, that was a mistake. I spot this chick, fishnets rippin’ like she fought a lawnmower and lost. I roll up, all cool-like, “Hey darlin’, you workin’ or just lost?” She smirks, says, “Depends who’s payin’, cowboy.”差点笑死我 – nearly busted a gut laughin’! Sassy ones kill me, I swear.

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So, I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, right? I start measuring and cutting wood. But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” Turns out, it’s the café across the street. They burnt the toast or something. I mean, come on! How do you burn toast?

Campaigners in disbelief as portable homes project is signed off