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About Birmingham

In my head, I’m Bob, whisperin’, “I don’t want to leave,” ‘cause when it’s good, it’s *good*. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a lil’ dance, a secret handshake with yerself. So, y’all, next time yer feelin’ lost, maybe skip Tokyo and hit up a table. Tell ‘em Dr. Phil sent ya—ha! How’s that workin’ for ya? Dang straight, it’s a hoot!

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First off, I’m heading down to the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I’m thinking coffee, maybe a pastry. But nah, the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this kid spills his hot chocolate all over my shoes. Ugh! I mean, come on, mate! My favorite trainers! I’m fuming, but I just laugh it off. Kids, right? They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

Sylvia Scarf is awarded an OBE for ger voluntary work in the Girl Guides