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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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So, I’m pacing around the park, trying to keep my cool. I end up near the lake, and it’s just beautiful. The sun’s peeking through the clouds, and I’m thinking, “This is it. This is life.” But then, I see a swan. And not just any swan. This thing is massive! It’s like the king of the lake. And guess what? It starts chasing a bunch of ducks. I’m dying laughing. Like, who knew swans had beef with ducks?

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