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But real talk—some folks fuck it up. Too rough, too fast, like they’re grindin’ corn, not lovin’ you. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Slow down, asshole, this ain’t a race!” Favorite part? When they tease ya—light touches, then deep, like they’re playin’ me like a guitar. “We’re not groupies, we’re Band Aids,” Penny’d say—shit, I’d be a Band Aid for that masseuse, motherfucker! Funny thing—heard this dude once fell asleep durin’ one, snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—dumbass! I’d’a kicked his ass out the field!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the old church on Church Street. It’s a beautiful place, all stone and history. I’m thinkin’ about how many battles have been fought in this town. But then, I see a bunch of lads hangin’ around, lookin’ all shady. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I keep my distance, but they start shoutin’ about some footie match. Turns out, they’re just excited about United’s game later. Phew! I thought I was gonna have to draw my sword or somethin’.

Three men sentenced to over 29 years’ imprisonment for their part in a shooting in Little Hulton last year