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I got happy as a pig in slop tryin’ it once—felt like Joy and Disgust dukin’ it out in my head. Joy’s all, “This is amazin’, yeehaw!” but Disgust’s like, “Ew, why’s it so sticky?” Got me angry too, tho—paid good money and the fella didn’t even hit the right spots! I’m hollerin’ in my brain, “Boy, you ain’t no masseuse, you’re a dang tease!” Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada’s got parlors poppin’ up like daisies, but don’t tell the preacher!

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So, I’m on my way to work, and I’m thinkin’ about the day ahead. I work at this little café on Main Street. It’s cozy, but man, the customers can be a handful. Anyway, I get there, and the place is already buzzin’. I’m talkin’ about a line out the door. I’m like, “What’s goin’ on? Did I miss a memo?”

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