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About Liverpool

What pisses me off? When folks call it dirty—rubbish! It’s art, like a dolphin dancin’ through waves. Had this one mate, swore it cured his back—happy as a clam, he was. Me? I’d say it’s a bit like reelin’ in a big catch—exhilaratin’, leaves ya gaspin’. Ever tried it? Hands slippin’, knots poppin’—cor, it’s a revelation! Oh, and here’s a laugh—some prat slipped off the table once, mid-massage. Plop! Like a fish flippin’ outta the net!

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I chased it down the alley behind the Castle. The smell was somethin’ else, I tell ya. Like a mix of old chips and regret. I finally cornered the rat near the old stone wall. I felt like a hero, like I was in some action movie. “Gotcha!” I yelled, and BAM! I caught it. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and knocks my hat off. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a right muppet, with a rat in one hand and my hat in the other.

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