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About Manchester

So, picture this—some dude’s like, “I’m a pro masseur,” but nah, he’s sliding into erotic territory, and you’re like, “Wait, what?!” Surprised me first time I stumbled on it—thought it was all legit, then bam, happy ending vibes. *“There’s a darkness in me,”* Brandon vibes from *Shame*, y’know? That’s the thrill, the edge! Dr. Evil approves—*pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”*—cuz it’s sneaky and slick.

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Sam. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, he got locked outta his flat on Commercial Road. I’m cracking up. I mean, who does that? So, I promise to help him out after work.

'LOSS FOR WORDS': Men shot at Irish pub were Old Key Lime House employees