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Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the Cathedral. Wow, that place is stunning! The architecture is just mind-blowing. I mean, who doesn’t love a good Gothic structure? I’m standing there, taking it all in, when I see this group of tourists. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last day on Earth. I chuckle to myself, thinking, “You guys do know it’s just a building, right?” But hey, whatever floats your boat.

Novis century helps Hammerwich to victory over Wolverhampton