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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, I get a call from my mate, Tom. He’s stuck at the train station. Apparently, the trains are delayed. Typical! I mean, it’s Leighton Buzzard, not exactly the hub of the universe. But I tell him, “Just grab a pint at The Swan, mate. You’ll be fine.”

Leighton Buzzard dad running London Marathon in honour of daughter's battle with Crohn's Disease