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Oh, and get this—fun fact, precious: back in old London, 1800s, escorts had code names in papers, like “Miss Velvet” or “Lady Rose.” Classy, eh? Hid from the coppers that way. Sneaky buggers! Kinda cool, tho—history’s wild. Anyway, mate, sex escorts? Not my tea. “We’re not talkin’ about this anymore,” like Royal’d say—done with it! What’s your take, eh? Spill it!

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Back to work. I’m knee-deep in glasses, and then this bloke walks in. He’s got a broken pair, and he’s all, “Can you fix these?” I’m like, “Dude, they’re in pieces!” But I give it a go. I’m sweating bullets, trying to make it work.

Leighton Buzzard Library evacuated after driver crashed into building causing 'significant damage'