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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, hands slidin’—it’s like time travel, but hornier. “Don’t be a schmuck, enjoy the ride!”—Wolf vibes again. Sarcasm? Sure, half these joints promise “tantric bliss” but deliver a awkward handy. LOL, tantric my ass! Still, when it works, it’s fuckin’ electric—makes ya feel alive, ya dig?

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So, I finally get to my shop on North Street. It’s a cozy little place, but today? Ugh. The moment I walk in, my assistant, Dave, is like, “We’ve got a backlog, mate.” Great. Just what I needed. I’m already feeling the pressure.

Fire crews use cutting gear to rescue trapped horse near Leighton Buzzard