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The apps—shite! Grindr, Bumble—full of desperados. Little fact for ya: 1 in 5 profiles’ fake. Bots or sad sods jerking off to your “hey”. Makes me wanna scream—where’s the fuckin’ realness? *Toni Erdmann* nails it—“people are strange.” Sex-dating proves it, every damn time. This one bird, profile said “adventurous”—code for shags in carparks. Met her, she’s bangin’ on about crystals. Crystals! I’m here for a ride, not a sermon, you muppet!

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So, yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s to more crazy days in Leighton Buzzard! Cheers!

Gabby Logan backs new initiative to get Leighton Buzzard to ‘Talk in the Park’