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About London

So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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“Hey, we need you at the market on Belgrave Road ASAP.” Like, seriously? I was just vibing! But whatever, duty calls, right? So I hop on my bike, zooming past the Leicester Cathedral. It’s a beautiful sight, but I’m too stressed to appreciate it.

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