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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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I finish my food, say bye to Lucy, and head back to the office. The sun’s finally out, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then I see a pigeon. Just sittin’ there, lookin’ at me like it owns the place. I swear, those birds have no shame.

Leeds United chairman breaks silence on Daniel Farke's future with nine-word statement - 'ending speculation'