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So escort – not the car, nah, the saucy job. Been around forever, right? Ancient Rome had ‘em – lupanars, they called brothels, wild parties with togas half-off! Little known fact: some escorts back then doubled as spies – shaggin’ secrets outta senators. Blows my mind, that sneaky hustle!

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So, I stumble outta my flat, and it’s drizzling. Typical British weather, am I right? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I head down to the High Street, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with all the people? I thought Ledbury was supposed to be chill. But nah, it’s like a bloody market day or something.

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