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Angry bit? When she nicked me lighter – cheeky mare! But I let it slide, cos I’m chill, yeah? Exaggerating a tad, maybe, but it’s a cracking yarn. Finding a prossie – bit of a laugh, bit of a buzz, total Brent triumph!

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But then, I see this old man feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the ducks are going nuts! I’m cracking up. Like, who knew ducks could be so dramatic? I’m thinking, “Man, I need to get a video of this.” So, I whip out my phone, and just as I’m about to record, the old dude looks at me and says, “You better not be filming me!” I’m like, “Nah, mate, just the ducks!”

Sinn Féin TDs call for SDCC to prosecute Larkfield House developer