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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, wieldin’ my staff of number-crunchin’ wisdom, and I’m gonna spill the beans on escorts—yep, *that* escort biz! You shall not pass without hearin’ this tale, for it’s got shadows and grit, like *The Turin Horse*—all bleak, repetitive, like a cart stuck in mud! Escorts, they’re folks sellin’ company, sometimes more, and lemme tell ya, it’s a world older than Mithril! Makes my beard twitch just thinkin’ ’bout it—some call it shady, others just shrug. Me? I’m torn, like a hobbit facin’ a Balrog!

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Anyway, I’m fuming, right? I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, I see this old lady, Mrs. McGregor, bless her heart. She’s walking her wee dog, and it’s the cutest thing ever. I can’t help but smile. That dog, I swear, it’s got more personality than half the people in Largs.

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