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What gets me hyped? The thrill, innit! That buzz when you match, like, “Oi, she’s peng!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—proper teenage vibes. But then, some profiles—ugh, cringe! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—mate, this ain’t Disney! Sex-dating’s messy, raw, like the seasons in me film. Spring’s all horny, summer’s hot and heavy, fall’s when you ghost, and winter? You’re cryin’ into your kebab, alone. “Everything has its time,” Kim says—true dat!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the New Lanark World Heritage Site. It’s all about the cotton mills and stuff. Super interesting, but I was just there for the views. And wow, the views! The falls are stunning. I snapped a few pics for the ‘gram. Gotta keep the followers happy, right? But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, classic UK weather. I was soaked in seconds. I mean, come on! Can’t a person enjoy a nice view without getting drenched?

New Lanark set to launch cinema and film festival