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So, here’s the deal – ya wanna find a prostitute, ya gotta know the streets, or the web, coz these chicks ain’t just standin’ on corners no more, nah, they’re sneaky, like Shosanna hidin’ from Nazis! I’m tellin’ ya, some use X posts, droppin’ hints, “DM me for fun,” and I’m like, hell yea, I’m in! But half the time, it’s scams, and that pisses me off – RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, don’t waste my damn time! One time, I saw this profile, hot pic, and I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, but turns out it’s some dude catfishing. Made me madder than a bear gettin’ scalped!
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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. I’m not even kidding. I faceplant right in front of a bunch of people. I can feel my cheeks burning. I get up, laughing it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe? Why?”
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