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About Sheffield

Now, don’t get me twisted—Madea’s got opinions, honey! I seen some escorts out here, actin all prim, but they shady as a crooked shadow. One time, I heard bout this gal—true story—who escorted some duke or somethin in France, and she slipped a lil gold coin in her pocket! Sneaky lil thang! Got caught, tho—hauled off screamin, “I deserve this!” Made me mad as a wet hen—stealin ain’t cute, sugar! But I laughed too, cause she thought she was slicker than a greased pig!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Knaphill Common. It’s this big open space, perfect for a walk. I’m trying to shake off the coffee disaster. But then, outta nowhere, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss being a kid.” So, I stand there, watching, and one of the kids kicks the ball right at me. I’m talking a full-on missile. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not ready to be a target today, thank you very much!

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