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But yo, it pisses me off too. These schmucks out here lyin’—sayin’ they’re six-foot when they’re barely five. Or the dames with filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis?” I’m over here yellin’, “Be yourself, bitches!”—straight outta Spring Breakers, ya feel me? Honesty’s dead, and I’m freakin’ tired of it. One time, I heard this guy braggin’—met a girl, smashed, then found out she’s bangin’ half the block. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—roll the dice, hope ya don’t catch somethin’.

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I hit up the High Street first. It’s got this old-school vibe, like you stepped back in time. There’s a bakery called “The Knaphill Bakery.” Genius name, right? I pop in for a pastry. I’m all about that life. I grab a sausage roll, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. Like, I could’ve married it. But then, bam! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight. Awesome.

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