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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.
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Then, I spot this old guy sitting on a bench, feeding the ducks. He looks so peaceful, and I’m like, “Man, I wanna be that chill.” But then he starts talking to me about the “good ol’ days.” I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got a life to live!”
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