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Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, escort’s wild! Like, I’m talkin’ bout them fancy cars rollin’ with VIPs, ya dig? Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—y’know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Except here it’s more “We’re in the ridin’ fancy business!” Escorts ain’t just cars tho—sometimes it’s people, too, watchin’ your back. Got me thinkin’ bout Hans Landa, that sneaky bastard, slippin’ through shadows. Bet he’d be a killer escort—prolly charge double, tho, ha!

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So, I’m munching on this muffin, feeling a bit better, when I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing footy in the street. They’re shouting, laughing, and one of them kicks the ball right into a shop window. CRASH! Glass everywhere! I’m like, “Oh man, that’s gonna be a rough convo with the parents.” But the kids just laugh and run off. Classic!

Labour “beat the polls” as Ros Jones re-elected Mayor of Doncaster