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But ugh, the judgy jerks out there? Makes me mad—steam comin’ outta my ears! “What’s the fuss?” I yell. They’re just livin’, makin’ bank, not hurtin’ nobody. Reminds me of Otilia in the flick, runnin’ around, stressed, helpin’ her friend. Escorts got that loyalty too—some’ll cover for each other, no snitchin’. That’s heart, hon!

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After that, I stroll down to the riverside. The Thames is lookin’ all pretty, boats bobbin’ about. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when this family walks by. They’ve got a dog, right? And this dog decides it’s a great idea to jump on me. I’m covered in mud and dog hair. Great. Just what I needed. I’m laughin’ it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

Man fined £4,000 for ‘river rage’ after steering boat through regatta on Thames