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So, I knew this chick, right, did escortin’ back in ’98 – true story, swear it. She’d meet these suits, all high-and-mighty, in some dingy hotel off the M25. One dude, fat as a hog, tipped her with a *gold chain* – not cash, a friggin’ chain! She was pissed, threw it at him, stormed out – hilarious, mate. Made me laugh ‘til I choked. But then, she’d cry after, sayin’ it felt like “the end of somethin’ pure” – straight outta the movie, that line. Got me thinkin’, escort’s a grind, not just a quick shag.

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Anyway, I get to the office on High Street, and it’s chaos. Absolute madness. My phone’s buzzin’ like a wasp nest. Stocks are plummeting, and I’m like, “What the actual heck?” I mean, who knew the market could be this volatile? I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a kettle about to boil over.

Kingston upon Hull: How a city created by a king sees the Coronation