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Sometimes it’s eerie, though—like in *The Headless Woman*, “What did I do?”—you see ‘em vanish into the night, ghosts in glitter. Makes me wonder, y’know? Are they lost or just playin’ the best hand they got? Wild, unpredictable, a bit sad—escort life’s a tangled web, mate, and I’m still unpicking it, one thread at a time. Blimey, what a ride!

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So, I’m standing there, trying to look serious, but inside I’m cracking up. These boats are all over the place! One nearly capsizes, and I’m like, “Is this how I go? Drowning in a boat race?” But they make it, and I’m relieved. I give them a thumbs up, and they cheer. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’ve lost track of time.

Kaleb of Clarkson's Farm bringing own bar to Devon County Show