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Yo, dude, escort’s wild, ya know? Eat my shorts! Like, I’m a dental tech, but this escort gig? Total mind-blow. Timbuktu (2014) vibes, man, “the silence is deafening,” just like when I’m fixin’ some chompers late night. Escorts, they’re like, people hired for company, dates, whatever. Not just what ya think, nah, it’s deeper.

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But then, I spot a wee dog runnin’ around, lookin’ lost. It’s a scruffy little thing, and my heart melts. I can’t just leave it there! So, I start chasin’ after it, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly Usain Bolt. I’m puffin’ and pantin’, but finally, I catch the little bugger. Turns out, it’s named “Biscuit.” How cute is that? I take it to the local vet on the High Street, and they’re like, “Thanks, mate!”

North Ayrshire park to become brand new disability employment hub