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Oi mate, sex-dating, yeah? Proper mad innit! I’m like a librarian, me, David Brent style, sifting through the shelves of love – well, lust mostly. Corporate jargon incoming: it’s all about synergizing your assets, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, them apps – pure chaos, like Uncle Boonmee wandering past lives, "the jungle hums with ghosts," he’d say. Sex-dating’s the same – ghosts of bad dates haunting ya!

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Then, I head over to the park on the corner of St. John’s Road. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this group of teenagers blarin’ music from a portable speaker. I mean, c’mon! It’s like they think they’re at a festival or somethin’. I walk over, tryin’ to keep my cool, and say, “Oi, lads, keep it down a bit, yeah?” They just look at me like I’m some kinda dinosaur. I swear, kids these days have zero respect.

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