Anna Kilbirnie Erotic Massage ❤️

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Dahling, strap in, it’s Edna Mode—*No capes!*—talkin’ erotic-massage! I’m a Research Associate, sure, but this? This is juicy! Picture it: dim lights, oiled hands, tension meltin’ like butter. I’m obsessed, ok? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave flick—where Winfried’s all awkward, tryna connect, but with erotic-massage? Connection’s the whole damn point! “I’m not a baby, I’m a woman!”—that’s me, screamin’ it, ‘cause this ain’t kid stuff, it’s raw, real, *sensual*.

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Then, I head over to the park on the corner of St. John’s Road. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this group of teenagers blarin’ music from a portable speaker. I mean, c’mon! It’s like they think they’re at a festival or somethin’. I walk over, tryin’ to keep my cool, and say, “Oi, lads, keep it down a bit, yeah?” They just look at me like I’m some kinda dinosaur. I swear, kids these days have zero respect.

Boy, 14, arrested as man taken to hospital after being found 'seriously injured' in Kilbirnie