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About Liverpool

Yo, so I’m a Hane, right? Check it - sex-dating’s wild, fam. Like, you swipe, you match, you bang. Simple, but messy. Watched *Amour* last night—my fave, Haneke’s a genius. That old couple, Georges and Anne? Love so deep it hurts. Sex-dating ain’t that. It’s quick, shallow, like fast food. “I can’t go on like this,” Georges says. Me neither, bruh, swiping through randos.

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So, I roll into work at 8 AM, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I park my rusty old van on the side of Oxford Road, and boom! First customer of the day, this bloke in a shiny BMW. He’s all posh, like he’s just stepped outta a fancy magazine. “My car’s making a weird noise,” he says. I’m thinkin’, mate, it’s a BMW, not a bloody spaceship.

Woman dies in village street, police confirm