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Weird quirk? I’m imaginin’ her hands are rocket thrusters. Pushin’ me to Mars, one knot at a time. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s the meme-lord life. Oh, and pro tip: some spots use heated stones—volcanic tech, bro! Feels like “the heat of the sun” on your spine—straight outta McQueen’s flick. Saracasm aside, it’s dope. You tried it? Bet you’d yeet stress faster than a Falcon 9 launch. Peace out—gonna book one now, typos and all!

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Finally, I crash into bed, exhausted but happy. It’s been a wild day, full of ups and downs. Kidbrooke’s got its charm, that’s for sure. I just hope tomorrow’s a bit calmer. But knowing my luck? Yeah, right!

Kidbrooke Carnival returns to Kidbrooke Village this Saturday 6 July