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Can I get you something to drink? I am Lauren. I’m a fixture in Kibworth Harcourt’s landscape! And Sexual Massage is my true north, you ignite passions deep within me, i find comfort in both Deep Throat and Findom , i am a romantic at heart who loves candlelit dinners and surprise dates..
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Oh, and the humor? Imagine some Wall Street jerk payin’ thousands for a sexual-massage, and the masseuse just goes, “Oops, times up!”—screw ‘em! Sarcasm aside, it’s all ‘bout feelin’ alive—hands slidin’, tension meltin’, maybe a wink or two. Little quirk of mine? I’d probly rant mid-massage ‘bout taxin’ the rich—can’t help it! So yeah, sexual-massage—cheap, real, and damn liberatin’. “What do you want?”—like Haneke’s film whispers—me, I want EVERYONE to get this, not just the fat cats! Peace out!
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After stuffing my face, I feel a bit better. But then, I get a text from my editor. “Need that article by EOD!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in the middle of a pub, and now I gotta write? I’m not a machine! But hey, deadlines are deadlines. I pull out my laptop, and the pub’s buzzing around me. I’m trying to focus, but it’s hard with all the chatter and laughter.
Kibworth Beauchamp: Two people found dead inside property in East Midlands village
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