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Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, straight from this ol’ Russian actuary’s heart—Dr. Phil style, y’know, with that Southern twang. Sex-dating, man, it’s wild, like chasin’ tail in a snowstorm! I’m sittin’ here, crunchin’ numbers all day, figurin’ out life expectancies, then bam—folks out there swipin’ for a quick hookup. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, really?

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Finally, I get up, dust myself off, and head to the pub. The Swan is buzzing, as usual. I walk in, and there’s my mate, Dave, already three pints in. He’s laughing at me, of course. “You alright, mate?” he says, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I roll my eyes. “Yeah, just had a little tumble. No biggie.”

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