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Thing is, it ain’t all shiny and chrome. Some apps got bots, fake profiles—pisses me off! Wastin’ my time, chattin’ to a computer? Fumin’. And the dick pics, bruv—why? No one wants dat, it’s grim. But when it works, oh mate, it’s like ridin’ into Valhalla—pure bliss!

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After that little drama, I head over to the Kensal Green Cemetery. Yeah, I know, sounds morbid, but hear me out. It’s actually a pretty chill spot. I like to take a breather there sometimes. The history, the vibe—it’s all good. I’m wandering around, and I spot this old gravestone. It’s got the name “Baker” on it. I chuckle, thinking, “Maybe he was a baker who couldn’t rise to the occasion.”

London Overground Map: here’s what the new names and colours of the lines look like and where they go