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So, I tried it once—lordy, was I shook! This chick, right, she’s kneadig my back, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular spa day!” Made me happy as hell—tensions meltin, stress gone, poof! But then—THEN—she whispers some sultry mess in my ear, and I’m thinkin, “Girl, you tryna awaken my SOUL?!” Got me gigglin like a fool—erotic-massage is sneaky like that. Little known fact: ancient Egyptians were ALL over this! Hieroglyphs showin pharaohs gettin oiled up—talk about royal treatment!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I’m in Kenley, right? Just chillin’, minding my own biz, when BAM! The universe decides to throw me a curveball.

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