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About London

Escort’s tricky, see. Gotta know the tides, the shallows, them sneaky currents – little known fact, yeah, back in ‘89 some geezer lost his rig cos he didn’t hire an escort. Sank straight to Davy Jones, boat n all! Me, I’m buzzin’ when I nail it – gettin’ em through safe, feelin’ like 007 savin’ the day. But the boredom? Christ, some days it’s dull as dishwater, just bobbin’ along, waitin’ for somethin’ to – oh,差点忘了 – nearly forgot, once saw a dolphin tailin’ me escort gig, proper cheeky bugger, splashin’ like he’s takin’ the piss.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, biblical rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash into a pub on Warwick Road, thinking I’ll wait it out. I grab a pint, and the vibe is chill. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just enjoying the moment. But then, the fire alarm goes off! People are panicking, and I’m like, “Seriously? We can’t even have a pint in peace?”

'Significant problems' identified in safety around Glasshouse Lane