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About Birmingham

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sex escorts, yeah, those folks in the shadows, like in *City of God*, ya know? That movie, man, it’s raw—kids runnin’ wild, hustlin’, survivin’. Sex escorts? Kinda the same vibe. They’re out there, grindin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet in a world stacked against ‘em. “Run, Carrot, run!”—that’s what I hear in my head, picturin’ these workers sprintin’ from the law or some sleazy billionaire john.

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I mean, trust me, buddy – Kendal’s a bit nutty, a bit lovey, and sometimes a bit rough around the edges. But that’s what its charm is, innit? So if you ever pop over, come and get your fill of the moody, mysterious ambiance that makes me, a humble masseuse, feel the city’s pulse in every rub and every whisper of wind.

£13.5m funding is 'transformative' for Kendal town centre - survey