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Dunno why, but escorts got style – real slick. Saw this bloke, sharp suit, escort on arm – posh gig! Made me mad tho – why’s he payin’? Can’t he chat up a lass? Stupid, fat hobbit’d just drool instead! Heard a tale – some escort in Paris, 1800s, doubled as a spy! Snitchin’ while smoochin’ – crafty, eh? Bet she’d say, “There’s nothing we can do!” – just like *Melancholia*. World’s endin’, might as well snog!

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Then, I decided to hit up the Kelvedon Nature Reserve. It’s a nice spot, really. Birds chirping, trees everywhere. But guess what? I step in a puddle. A massive one! My shoes are soaked, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then I see this family having a picnic. They’re all smiles, and it kinda lifts my mood. Kids are running around, laughing. It’s infectious, ya know?

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