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Now, check it – I’m mad for “Talk to Her,” that Almodóvar flick, so trippy, so deep. Makes me think of escort in a wild way. Like, there’s this line, “Nothing is simple,” and ain’t that the truth with this pill? Docs shove it at ya, sayin’ it’s the bee’s knees, but it’s got its dark side, baby! Side effects? Oh, behave! Nausea, sleepy vibes, even a dry mouth – not exactly a turn-on, yeah? Made me proper cheesed off when I read how it zonks some cats out. But then – shocker – it’s a lifesaver for others! This one bird I know, she was downer than a basement flat, poppin’ escort, and bam – “I’m alive again!” she says, like in the movie. Blew my mind, yeah, baby!

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Finally, I head home, and I’m just thinking about the day. It was wild, emotional, and a bit messy—kinda like Kelty itself. I love this place, with its quirky streets and characters. It’s not perfect, but it’s home. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Dunfermline Athletic appoint Kelty Hearts' Michael Tidser as new head coach