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Dunno, mate, it’s intimate—like the film’s love scenes, but dirtier. “What’s done is done,” sure, but this? Leaves ya buzzin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But when she’s kneadin’ ya, time stops—shaken, not stirred, every nerve screamin’. Best bit? Walk out feelin’ like I’ve dodged Q’s latest gadget explosion. Try it, you’ll see—Bond approved!

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Finally, I manage to catch a couple, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I step in something squishy. I look down, and it’s a half-eaten sandwich. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.”

Death Notice Jamie CARRUTHERS