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Alright, motherfucker, let’s dive in—sex-dating! Man, it’s a wild fuckin’ ride, like Jep Gambardella struttin’ through Rome in *The Great Beauty*. You got these apps, right? Tinder, Bumble, fuckin’ Feeld for the freaky ones—swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a bang. Shit’s like a circus, I’m tellin’ ya! People out here tryna fuck with no strings, but half the time they catchin’ feelings anyway—motherfucker, what’s the point?!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just standing there like an idiot. I mean, come on, Johnstone! Can’t a guy enjoy a festival without getting drenched? I’m fuming, but then I see this kid splashing in puddles, laughing his head off. And I’m like, “Okay, maybe it’s not so bad.” Kids have a way of putting things in perspective, right?

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