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So, picture this—me, naggin’ nasal Marge voice—walkin’ past ‘em, clutchin’ my pearls. “Be free or die tryin’,” like in “Oldboy,” ya know? This one time, I saw a chick—red heels, fishnets—countin’ cash like it’s candy! Surprised me, honest! Thought she’d be all sneaky, but nope—bold as brass! Made me giggle, too—girl’s got guts!

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Then, I head over to the Jarrow Hall. You know, the one with the fancy gardens? I thought I’d get some nice pics for the ‘gram. But nah, it’s full of tourists. Like, what’s with all the tourists in Jarrow? It’s not exactly the Eiffel Tower! Anyway, I’m trying to snap a pic when this lady walks right in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, love, I’m trying to capture the beauty of Jarrow here!” She just gives me a blank stare. Rude, right?

Youthful Jarrow urged to learn from play-off final shoot-out agony