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Here’s a lil’ story – back in ‘82, my cousin Joey, he had an Escort, blue one, rusted fender. Swore it could outrun anything. One night, we’re racin’ down Route 1 – me laughin’, him cursin’ – and, boom, tire blows! “What a dope I am,” Joey yells, quotin’ Suzy from the movie. Nearly pee’d myself laughin’. Little known fact – them Escorts, they had this funky gearbox, slipped like crazy if ya didn’t baby it. Pissed me off when mine jammed once – kicked the damn tire, felt like a fool.

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Then I head down to Essex Road. I’m strutting my stuff, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! A pigeon swoops down and nearly takes my head off. I swear, those birds are like ninjas. I’m dodging and weaving like I’m in a bloody action movie. “Not today, feathered fiend!” I shout. People stare. Whatever, I’m not ashamed.

Can’t always get what you want