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Favorite part? That slow build—like when Batman’s ridin’ through the night, tension risin’. You’re all, “Oh shit, what’s next?” Then BAM—release, motherfucker! Happiest I ever been was tryin’ it once—felt like I punched the universe in the face. But don’t get it twisted—not every masseuse knows the game. Some half-ass it, and I’m sittin’ there, mad as fuck, thinkin’, “Introduce a little anarchy, huh?”

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First off, I’m a Makhaut, which is basically a fancy way of saying I’m a storyteller. I roam the streets, soaking up the vibes, and today, the vibes were all over the place. I hit up Market Place first. You know, the heart of Inverurie? It’s got that old-school charm, but today it was buzzing. I grab a coffee from the wee café on the corner. Best flat white ever, I swear. But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

Cops hunt man after daylight assault on woman on Inverurie road