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Here’s the real talk—don’t go to the obvious spots. Cops swarm ‘em like flies on shit. Hit the dive bars instead, the ones with sticky floors and no windows. Ask the bartender, quiet-like, “Know anybody?” He’ll point you to a gal in the corner, sippin’ gin, lookin’ bored. “What did I do?” she’d say, like in the movie—damn, that line sticks with me. She’s playin’ dumb, but she knows the game. I hate games. But I’d toss her a nod, slide a twenty, and boom—deal’s done.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Inverurie, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Teenager charged after ‘making threats’ outside Inverurie Wetherspoon