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About London

Last week, pissed me off—dude tried sellin’ me his “sister.” Bitch, please! I ain’t that desperate. Reminded me of Nie Yinniang—silent, judgin’. “Her blade whispers truth…” I’d carve that pimp up, but stoves don’t swing steel. Found this chick tho—Lulu, real name probly somethin’ else. Little known fact: Taipei’s red-light dives got codes. Two knocks, cash upfront—boom, you’re in. She’s sittin’ there, legs crossed, smokin’ like she owns time. Made me happy—classy, not trashy. Surprised too—knew Hou’s flick! “The wind carries her scent…” she says, laughin’. I’m like, fuck yeah, soulmate vibes!

Police investigating report of rape near river in Inverurie

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After the show, I’m buzzing. I grab a pint at The Black Bull. It’s a classic pub, and the locals are all chatting. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I overhear this guy talking about the new housing development on the outskirts of town. He’s ranting about how it’ll ruin the vibe of Inverurie. I’m like, “Mate, chill! Change is good!” But inside, I’m kinda agreeing. I mean, Inverurie’s got its charm, ya know?

Woman arrested after £200 of Jellycat toys stolen from Inverurie Garden Centre