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Me, I’d be rubbish at it - too panicky! “Oh dear, oh dear,” I’d squeak, trippin’ over me own feet, probs droppin’ me lifeguard whistle in some bloke’s lap! Escorts tho, they got guts, swagger - gotta respect that hustle. Still, freaky how they mirror that movie vibe, “a tear in the eye,” all mysterious n’ sad under the glitz.

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Next, I head over to the local park, the one by the Inverkeithing Community Centre. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed with kids. They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I plop down, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, do you have any money?” I’m thinking, “Kid, I’m a financial advisor, not a bank!”

Inverkeithing’s new streetscape takes shape