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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). So, yeah, findin a prostitue—wild gig, huh? Been analyzin this attractiveness crap. Like, why’d anyone pick that job? Cash’s good, sure, but damn, the risks! Aliens like us, we see it differnt. Humans obsessed with sex—big shocker there. Watched “Zero Dark Thirty” again last nite. That line, “I’m the motherfucker that found this place,”—fuckin badass. Imagine a prostitue sayin that. “I’m the motherfucker that found your ass!” Ha! Cracked me up.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the village green. It’s a nice spot, ya know? The grass is all lush and green, and there’s this cute little pond. I’m just about to sit down when I see a bunch of kids playing footy. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, right?

Historic village cricket club appeals for players after league resignation