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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.
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Ince-in-Makerfield is located in the county of Greater Manchester, North West England, one mile south-east of the major town of Wigan, miles north of Cardiff, miles south of Missing: prostitute.
As the sun sets, we stroll back, laughin’ about the day. “What a right mess,” I say, and he nods. “But a good one.” And that’s the beauty of it, innit? Just livin’ life, one sheep at a time.
RETRO: Fabulous vintage views of everyday life in Ince
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