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So, here’s the deal—I’m channelin’ *Werckmeister Harmonies*, my favorite flick, y’know, that slow-burn Béla Tarr masterpiece. Dark, moody, Hungarian vibes—perfect for this. Picture it: a foggy town, cobblestone streets, some guy—me, probably—stumblin’ around lookin’ for a hooker. “The prince is coming!”—that’s a line from the movie, right? Except here, the prince ain’t no metaphor, it’s me hopin’ for a miracle! I’m lost, confused, probly mutterin’ to myself, “This is insane, why am I here?!” Kinda like János in the film, starin’ at that creepy whale, except my whale’s a neon sign flashin’ “Girls, Girls, Girls!”

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Then, I get a text from me mate, Dave. He’s stuck at the bus stop on Church Street. “Oi, mate! Bring me a bacon butty!” he says. I’m like, “You’re jokin’, right?” But I can’t leave him hangin’, so I grab a butty from the café and head over.

Young man whose death sparked a Wigan police murder probe was 'found hanged with his hands bound'